As I continue to integrate into Central, one of the things I have had to prepare is my business card. It's a simple tool, but on I will utilize in connecting with the community. At Central, the design on the front of the card is the same for all staff, but on the back we are given the chance for our personalities to come out and shine. Seeing what some others have written (Kate Spielman – “Kate is Grateful for God’s Abundant Mercy and Grace” and Randy Mayfield – “Randy is passionate about bringing the Gospel to the Nations”) helped me see how everyone has really tied in who they are and what they are doing into their statement.
This began a journey of praying, reflecting, writing, erasing, and editing what I believe God has done in helping me know who I am. Ben Tzeng, Pastor of Evangelism and Community: “Ben is HUMBLED by God, PROUD of the way He has made me”.
Through the journey that God has brought me through, he has completely humbled me in knowing that I am His child and belong to him. As a child of Taiwanese immigrants, who came here for a “better life for their family," I am a second generation Asian American who was struggling with my identity and being proud of who I was. Growing up, I was the chubby Asian kid that was longing to belong. Someone once asked me as an icebreaker question, “what animal would you best describe yourself growing up?” My answer was a chameleon; I would change who I was to fit in and try to belong. However, as much as I wanted to be a chameleon, I was unable to change my shape and unable to change my skin, which led to very low self-esteem and a low view of myself. It was in that period of time in my life that God met me.
Someone shared with me the love of God, his mercy and grace through Jesus Christ. God began a journey with me; a journey of finding my identity in God rather than trying to belong to the world. I found my true belonging as a child of God who loved me so much to send his only Son to lay his life down for me. Through this relationship with him, I am humbled that a holy, loving, infinite Father would pursue me and give the power of Christ’s victory over sin and death to give me life and use me as his servant.
It is in this I can be proud of who God has made me. No longer ashamed of my background and looking different than others around me, but seeing that God has fearfully and wonderfully made me, and he created me for a purpose! He created me to love and minister to others especially in the many different contexts that He places me. I know I can do this because I have found my belonging in God and His family. Of course there are difficult times when people are insensitive, unloving, or ignorant. But what I have found over and over again is that my security and contentment is in how God has made me and that I can utilize those times as teaching moments where we can all learn with humility and open hearts. I don’t have to be an angry Asian but a humble child of God who shows me how to boast in the LORD.
So when I say proud, I do need to constantly remember and be aware, reminding myself and others that this sense of pride comes after we are humbled by God. Some nations boast of their chariots and horse, but we boast in the name of the LORD our God (Psalm 20:7). If our pride isn’t humbled by God or if we don't use it for his purposes, this leads to arrogance, self-reliance, and narcissism creating distance with others. Pride comes before destruction (Proverbs 16:18) but we are able and must boast in what God does in our lives (1 Corinthians 1:31). Let’s strive together to help people BELONG to God’s family and be proud of the ways God has made them.